Skip to main content

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 15: Teachings or Oreh Tsinagatorp

Chapter 15: Teachings of Oreh Tsinagatorp.

"But what if someone finds a floating tree? Is the Shrub just second rate to that tree?" 
"Relax Leafling. The Shrub is mighty because it was first and because of it's power. The Devs have not enough power to bestow as much even one more time. There will be many false prophets which will try to lead you astray from the Mighty Shrub. Some will try to have you follow grass, bushes, trees, Sheep, and even Shirt_576's. You may let them believe what they want, but do not be drawn in, for there are none more powerful than the Shrub.

"Master, is there really a Force Sensitive Sheep?" 
"Yes Leafling, there is a Force Sensitive Sheep. Keep in mind though that since he is Force Sensitive, he is also permadeath, and such is it that grieving against these sheep and their herders is bloody and all too often comes to a permanent end. So you see, the Force Sensitive Sheep is doomed to seek master status, forever starting over. It is not for us Shrubbites to even try to stop the Sheep, though we will not have to, as the Sheep face the same opposition that we do everyday in life. It is said in the Book of the Sheep (B.S.) that the Sheep will only once reach master status, and that such an event will trigger the great smiting of SWG from existence."

"Master, there are those that worship the Shirt_576. What is so great about a Shirt?" 
"Ah, good question Leafling. The coming of Shirt_576 was foretold by a Dev, so we have the scriptures sent down, and so we know it must be so. The Shirt_576 has not come yet and yet we do not know of it's power. Only when we meet the armies of Shirt_576 on the battlefield will we know of it's power. For you see, Leafling, that each god is given power by it's followers. If a god were to lose all of it's followers, it will lose all of it's power. That is why the power of the Shrub is so great and the power of the Force Sensative Sheep is so weak. It is also why the mountains around us, though great and massive in size, show only an occasional flicker of power."

"Master, why are the Force Sensitive Sheep so weak?"
"That answer lies in its followers. First, too many followers of the Sheep have neglected to spell out the full name that it deserves, smiting it with their own words when they say 'FSS'. Secondly, the Sheep is only Force Sensitive, and has not had a chance to rise to Master Jedi status. It will receive this chance only after the Great Opening and will have days uncounted to complete the task. As is stated in many quotes by the Devs, Jedi will be few and far between, and the chances of the Sheep becoming a Jedi are small indeed."

"Master, is it true what the Devs say, about the Force Sensitive Sheep eating the Shrub?" 
"It is true that these words come directly from the mouth of a Dev, but he was obviously lying. In the Books of the Shrub, it is described that the Shrub has the powerful 'Shrub Push' ability. It is with this power that it floated 12 feet from the ground, and it is with this power that it would repel the Sheep. The Devs are good, but cannot always be trusted, especially in matters of the Shrub. Besides, the Shrub is too thorny for even a Force Sensitive Sheep to eat. There will never be any such thing as a Force Sensitive Goat, and for that we are thankful.

"But who is the divine follower that discovered the shrub?"
"That, my young apprentice must be answered by those who read this book and send holy emails to the webmaster, who is himself the least of the gods that do hear our prayers."