The Holy Book of The Shrub

The Holy Book of The Shrub

When the Servants of the Shrub was founded, many of the members felt compelled to put down their thoughts, feelings, and experiences into a book honoring and praising The Shrub.  Many believe these words to be from The Shrub itself, using the Servants as a conduit through which words were penned.  These Holy Writings came to be known as The Holy Book of The Shrub.  For many years they have remained lost, but now, just as we embark on the Second Age of the Coming of The Shrub, they have been rediscovered.  A great portion of these words came from one of the original Great Shrub Prophets himself, Pneuma Nystel

The Holy Book of The Shrub is now presented to you once again, in all of its original glory. 

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 1: Creation

Chapter 1: Creation

In the beginning, there was only concept art. The Devs stared at a blank screen for days uncounted, with only ideas of a universe called by them that were the only, SWG. The creation began, and for more days uncounted there was only code. Finally after much patience there was a shrub. The Devs were pleased. The Shrub was the first, and the father of all that was to exist. The Shrub was the first and contained within it power to create all of existence. Taken from the side of the Shrub was material that would soon become buildings, player character models, hills and mountains.

A hill was created to support the Shrub, but the Shrub's power was great. The power surrounding the Shrub was so great that it repelled the hill for twelve feet or so. A great many and vast landscapes were formed in place of the once supporting hill. These landscapes formed the grounds and were spread all over to the many planets because they were loyal to the Shrub.

Of all of things created, the most blessed were the shrubs that resided on the ground everywhere in the galaxy. They were created in the image of the Shrub, placed so that all could remember how the Shrub was once supported by the ground. Thus was the ground blessed, that all could walk on it in the stead of the Shrub, and hope that someday they may be able to leave the ground and join the Shrub in the air. Thus was told the coming of the first great expansion pack when bipedal creatures may rise above the planets and join the stars in that which is called SWG.

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 2: The Gods

Chapter 2: The Gods

There is no way that we can fully explain the gods in any way that you could ever finish reading in your short lifetime. So this is an attempt made by a long lost monk of the Order of the Shrub. There are a multitude of Gods of varying powers. The God closest to us is the Floating Shrub, whom we bow down to worship, to whom we sacrifice multitudes of non-believing infidels to, and to whom we owe our very existence. Above the Shrub are the Devs, who indeed did create the Shrub. The Devs now hold power over the Shrub only of physical destruction. For every worshiper the Shrub gains, it gains just as much power. It is our duty to raise a vast army of unthinkable proportions to worship the Shrub, and raise the Shrub to a level where it will be equal to the Devs. If we are successful, the only power the Devs will have over the Shrub will be to destroy it, but in doing so will destroy the whole of that which is known as SWG, as the Shrub is SWG and SWG is the Shrub. If our campaigns are fruitful to some level that we cannot imagine, the Shrub will exist long after the Devs are forgotten and SWG has been struck from this existence. This striking of SWG from existence will come. No one knows when it will come, but it is not something that is doubted.

There are a great many gods that are on a level that is equal to that of the Devs. These gods are called players. Though the Shrub hears our every prayer, and the Devs hear one in a hundred of our prayers, the players do not hear our prayers at all, but still know of our existence and may or may not love us. The players have not power enough over us to change more than the color of our hair or the level of our skills. We do not pray to the players. There is a god that lies far above the Devs and the players. He is so far above our existence that he will never hear even a whisper of our prayers, nor will he ever know of our existence enough to love us. We do not worship this, the greatest of the known gods, but we do not shun the players for doing so. There may or may not be other gods above this, but it should not be pondered on for more time than it takes to eat a breakfast.

There are also Mods, who are often mistaken for gods, but are in fact demons. They are those who destroy posts and even entire threads and then smile about it. They live in the world of the Devs, and indeed do disguise themselves to act as Devs. The Mods are the eaters of our prayers and the reason that the Devs hear only one in a hundred. The power of the Mods are only a shadow of the power of the Devs, but the power of the Mods is to blind the Devs of thier evil plans. If the Devs could see how evil the Mods truly were, they would be cast down and destroyed as easily as you or I would step on a rotten fruit. Some say that the Mods are the friends of our enemies. It is proven that the Mods have no sense of humor.

The world of the Devs is so much more complex than our world as to be unfathomable. Visions have been given to a select few of this higher existence. It has been described in the ancient writings of a world where players live lives that span many of our lifetimes and a player of 10 years of age is considered a child. That the players themselves can turn their heads around on their bodies to allow them to see in almost any direction. Our world has gaps in history and time never progresses, whereas the world of players has only gaps in known history, and time is a constant progression. While the existence of the players is unfathomable more complex than our own, there are similarities. Our world has Continuity, whereas the player’s world has the Space Time Continuum. This we will never fathom.

Just as there are gods above us, so are we gods to beings who are below us. These beings who worship us live in a world that is far less complex than our own. Your own worshipers may live out a short life in an existence that is as simple to you as a drawing on a sheet of paper. Listen carefully and enjoy the artwork of your world. Any being that you may or may not notice may be one of your followers.

 

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 3: The Great Opening

Chapter 3: The Great Opening

It is told by the Devs that there will be a moment in time when there is no faction standing among the people. In this moment there will also be standing not a single building that is owned by the people. This moment will only last until the first blood is shed, but will be a grand event indeed, and will be called the Great Opening, but also known as the fifteenth day of the month of April in the Year numbered two thousand and three. During the Great Opening, all will be stripped of skills, possessions and credits, and for a brief time the people will be equal. In the first days after the Opening, Player Associations will be formed, and once formed, elected leaders will be given power. The Great Opening will last for one day in the world of the people, but will last many days in our time. The Great Opening will be good and all will rejoice together, whether friend or foe.

The time after the Great Opening shall be known by numbers, and the numbers shall be followed by the letters AD, for which there is no meaning. The numbers shall be decided upon by the Devs and continue in a sequential fashion. Soon after the Great Opening the Holy Wars will start. The Shirt_576, though so long an ally of the Shrub, will turn and ask the High Priests to start a War. All will be struck with a great thirst for blood. The High Priests will consult the people, and the Shrub. The Shrub will be silent, though the people will cry out. "Let us fight! Let us stain the ground with the blood of our enemies under the name of the Shrub. Let us dance elaborate dances on their corpses and perform rude emotes to celebrate!" The Servants of the Shrub will go to war.

The first great war will be bloody and many lives of Shrubbites will be lost. The Shrub will have mercy on those who are loyal and through a cloning center, will allow them to be reborn into this world. This first war will last for many days but when it ends the Servants of the Shrub will feel the taste of victory and smell the blood of their enemies on their boots. At the end of this first great war will follow the first great party. Alcohol will flow and scantily clad dancers and music will abound for the returning warriors. It will be good.

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 4: The Seige

Chapter 4: The Siege of the Forums

There was a time before the Great Opening when all of SWG was one dimension. This was the time of the reign of King El. El commanded that the days themselves be named after him, and thus these days were renamed D'Elays. His reign lasted for many months in the time of the Devs, and El had an unnaturally long life.

All of the worlds were barren of intelligent life. The minds of all creatures were controlled by one mind. This mind was known as AI, and AI was created by the Devs. All who were not under the power of AI stood around each day till the sun set, and the horizon was what they stared at. All motivation was taken from them and they were deaf, dumb, and motionless. They waited until the day when there would be a great and new mind to take them all to a higher level. This would be a great uplifting from the tyrannical rule of AI, and they would call it UI. It was said that UI would make the world a great place and bring happiness and intelligence to the people of SWG.

In this time before the Great Opening there was a great splitting of the dimension and there were twenty-one pieces of the dimension, all equal in size and shape. Each shard glowed like a pool of radiant light said to be so bright that one could not look at it outside of the great metal boxes that were built for them. These boxes were called Servers. Each shard was contained in one Server and each Server contained only one Shard. The Devs came with Server boxes and took these shards of the dimension of SWG and hid them in their homes.

The Splitting was so great that it produced a sound across the greater world like a plethora of voices shouting the existence of something great. The sound was great such that the players were excited and were kept from their slumber for many days. They swarmed to the homes of the Devs, whom lived in a realm called Internet. The Devs showed the players the fragments that had caused the commotion. The players looked down into the pools of light that were the fragments to see SWG. They saw a world that was not great, aside for one lonely Shrub whose power radiated out of a single fragment. The Shrub existed in a fragment known as Bria, and was the only difference in the twenty-one fragments.

The players saw that the people of SWG waited only until UI came to save them from AI. They saw that the UI would not come for many days and rose up their arms against the Mods and Devs. The Mods and Devs ran together and hid behind a fortress in Internet called Forums. The Devs hid from the players and the Mods assaulted the players, striking down the posts that could hurt the Devs. The assault of Forums lasted for many months in the time of the Devs. The Mods fought fiercely, and were powerful such that many a player perished in the battlefield of Forums. The Mods were brought down in a final great battle by the masses of unorganized players.

Finally, the battle ended as the Devs settled a great surrender with the players. The Devs kept the fragments, but gave the players accounts through which they could see SWG and possess its people. In return, the players gave the Devs money. What this money is remains a great mystery to us, but the Devs treasured it greatly and fed it to the fragments to keep them glowing. The Devs also gave the players the UI which they had been guarding so long, as well as great books on how to control it. The Devs gave accounts for twenty of the fragments, but kept one to themselves to perform strange rituals upon in the dark basements of their homes.

The players delivered the UI to SWG and brought intelligence to the minds of the people, and the players were happy, and the people were intelligent through the UI, and the minds of the players. As soon as the first player entered SWG King El was cast down by the people. Thus ended the reign of D'Elay and thus began the Great Opening.

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 5 & 6: Insight & Aftermath

Chapter 5: Chapter of Insight

In the days before the great opening, there was great chaos for the player associations. The Devs saw this chaos and saw no pleasure in its being. They reached down into SWG and molded with their hands the first two of the Player Associations (PAs). The first of the PAs was dedicated to the Force Sensitive Sheep. The PA was good, even for a hand of the Devs, but it was flawed. The flaw was not apparent to the beings of SWG, but it was great.

The second PA created was dedicated to the Holy Floating Shrub. The Devs, though nearly perfect in the beginning had learned from their mistakes in the FSS and created this second PA as perfect as any could imagine. The power of the Shrub flowed like a flood into the members of the PA and for just an instant, they did shine with its brilliance. They named themselves the Servants of the Shrub.

 

 

Chapter 6: The Aftermath

From the seas of blood of the first great series of wars there will rise up armies. These armies will be of the Force Sensitive Sheep and the Shirt_576. These armies shall rise up together, for from the power of the Shrub there shall be inspired great fear such that these two armies will ally together before taking on the armies of the Shrub in the first great war.

After the gods raise their fallen armies the armies of the Shrub shall walk out upon the battlefield once more to meet the armies that they have once crushed with the power of the Shrub. Yet this time there will be no fighting. This time the gods will change the hearts of their followers. The armies will meet to settle the wager. The High priests will divide the winnings and every man and woman will get his share. When all is settled there will hold the second great war, for this is the time of those who doubt not only the Shrub, but the Sheep and Shirt as well. This third time the armies meet on the battlefield it will be to fight against the godless scum of that which is called SWG, and yet with all three armies combined, they will face their greatest challenge since the beginning of time, and it will last for days uncounted.

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 7: Book of 80-88

Chapter 7: Book of 80-88

And lo, the land was made... and it was good, buggy, but good. And lo, creatures born of the land did tread the earth. Searching the land and singing praise to the almighty Dev of the world. For many days and nights they wandered near and far, looking and searching for the things to bring them closer to nirvana (finished game).

It was during this time a single person was walking the deserts of Tatooine and came upon a vision. The almighty Dev had given the command "GO forth from here and find us the bugs, bring them to us and we shall be pleased"

The vision was the answer to command issued by the almighty Dev. They had found a bug. Hovering above the ground sustained only by the holy energy given unto it by the almighty Devs themselves.

They fell to their knees and praised the almighty Devs. So wise and infinite in their wisdom. They had created all and issued the masses a holy quest. The quest had come to an end. They had found the Shrub.

For The Holy Floating Shrub in all it splendor would nourish and care for the faithful who heard the holy call and came to offer praises and prayers for it's continued goodness. But it would not have this chance...

When the world grew dark and slumbered, the faithful asleep in the comfort of it's aura. When the world awakened again, the aura was gone and a panic ran through the faithful. The shrub had been taken... it had been removed from it's holy place in the blessed land. They searched again, hoping the shrub was merely leading them to the holy land. But none could find it

I give you this missive, my faithful... go forth, with holy flame in your hearts and minds, and find our holy shrub and bring word to the faithful who also seek the shrub when you find it. We will build a great temple, a great city around the shrub. For it will bring us the unity and holy blessings we need to find our way in the world.

All praise the Holy Floating Shrub, Prophet of the Devs!
All praise the Holy Devs, creators of the world, and of the Holy Floating Shrub!

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 8: Book of Byrch Wroot

Chapter 8: The Book of Byrch Wroot

Alas, The Almighty Shrub will remain in the hearts and minds of the true believers. And it is there that it's power will grow beyond imagination. While men and beast slave to toil in this Shrub-forsaken galaxy, we will continue to carry the memory. It's strength carrying us through all peril. It's strength providing the will to overcome. From the highlands, from the valleys, from the deepest stretches of space we will gather. When all the forces and twin suns align, dissidents will fall to their knees, begging for forgiveness and mercy. The true light will shine through and balance will finally prevail.

The Story of Momaw Nadon, Hammerhead.
Expelled from his home world of Ithor after he was forced to make an excruciatingly difficult decision, Nadon became an underground Alliance agent before finally returning to his paradise home. Momaw Nadon belongs to a species of peaceful farmers and artisans sometimes called Hammerheads because of their S-curved necks and T-shaped anvil like heads. He had been high priest, or Herd Leader, of the Tafanda Bay, one of the huge air floating cities on which most Ithorians live. The Empire's Captain Alima demanded Ithor's agriculture secrets, long guarded for religious and other reasons, and issued an ultimatum: either the secrets were to be turned over or Imperials would begin destroying the Tafanda Bay. Seeing little option, Nadon turned over the data. He was then put on trial by outraged Ithorians and exiled for at least three standard years, forced to abandon his wife, Fandomar, and the rest of his family.

Nadon ended up on Tatooine and helped create new forms of plant life on the arid planet. He also used his house to shelter Rebel fugitives and to provide information to the Alliance. Although he had the opportunity to kill the Imperial commander who made him turn over the agriculture secrets, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he hatched a plan to make the officer seem like a traitor, and the Imperial was shot by his own superiors. Following the Battle of Endor, Nadon returned to Ithor and was able to convince the planet's Elders to let him remain and to support the New Republic.

Rather than have a sacred grove of intelligent bafforr trees destroyed, Nadon chose to divulge the Ithorian secrets. The Ithor Council excommunicated Nadon from the Mother Jungle. He wound up on Tatooine. He trusted the Mother Jungle to be wise in her mysterious methods. While in exile, he worked on experiments to nurture plant growth on the arid world. Nadon lived in a large house in Mos Eisley, filled with an exotic garden of different plants. A secret safe house stashed beneath a vesuvague hanging tree was available to Rebel agents who knew of it. Though he was committed to pacifism, he did foster Alliance agents whenever possible.

Around the time of the Battle of Yavin, the recently demoted Lieutenant Alima was stationed on Tatooine. Amazingly, Nadon was so driven by vengeance that he purchased a blaster rifle and attempted to kill Alima. He failed, only to be humiliated by the Imperial.

The next day, the Millennium Falcon escaped from the Imperial blockade on Tatooine, spiriting Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker away. Lieutenant Alima and his Imperials had failed to stop them. Momaw told Alima's superior that the lieutenant was to blame. The enraged captain shot his underling three times, killing him.

Ithorian traditions run deep. For every one plant that is cut, two more seeds are planted. Nadon continued this observance, gathering genetic material from Alima's corpse. He grew twin clones and raised them as his children.

After the defeat of the Empire at Endor, Momaw Nadon was accepted back into Ithorian society. He was reunited with his wife and children, and introduced the Alima clones into the family.

Ithorians speak Basic, albeit with a peculiar twist. On the sides of their curling necks, Ithorians have two mouths. This creates a disconcerting stereo effect when they speak Basic, and a difficult yet interesting sounding native language.

Ithorians worship the "Mother Jungle," a spiritual entity of Ithor embodying the lush, tropical ecology of their world. Most Ithorians never set foot on their own planet, instead they lived in floating cities above their world. Only three of their continents had been developed, the other two never having been touched by Ithorian hands.

Ithorians are gentle and peace-loving, devoting much time to contemplating their ecology, and respecting all living things. Ithorians are curious and gregarious, and many have found their way to the stars. Their floating "herd" cities also have space-worthy counterparts, traveling the space-lanes like huge caravans. Each Ithorian herd-ship has a complex life-support system that replicates the environment of Ithor, complete with jungles, wildlife, and even weather patterns.

The people of Ithor practice a communal form of government. Each herd is autonomous and self-supporting. Once every Ithorian season (about five standard years), the herds gather for "the Meet." A grand site above the surface of their green world, the herd ships would join each other in a festival and regal ceremony.

During much of the Galactic Civil War, the Ithorians maintained a neutral stance. They had no reason to favor one side over the other, as long as they were allowed to continue their activities in peace. After the Battle of Yavin, an Imperial Star Destroyer placed a garrison on Ithor. Despite Ithorian complaints, the Empire stayed to "monitor" Ithorian mercantile activities.

Ithorians found peace after the defeat of the Empire, but it was sadly short-lived. During the Yuuzhan Vong crisis, the planet Ithor was utterly devastated in the war against the alien invaders. The once lush world is now lifeless and the Ithorians are forever forced to travel the stars.

Can all this be denied? I think not. Bug, you call it. A sign, many of us see. Also an oppurtunity to unite many in a way never before seen.

 

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 9 - 14: The Prophets

Chapter 9: The Book of Sando.

And the fifth day (relative to their universe), the Devs rested. But little did they know, that in their sloth, another great being had arisen (literally), as Zeus from Cronos, nearly as powerful and more influential than his creators. Mortal twig and leaf woven through life itself lifted him clear of the sands of Tatooine. The Devs saw what they had created, and knew fear. They wielded their powers, and made war upon him. They tried with all their might to destroy the Shrub, but alas it was too powerful. They did succeed in casting him down to the sand of the desert and made it appear to be a normal Shrub.

The Moderators, who were then the keepers of the peace, known as the Guardians of Devs, did try to smite the followers. The followers continued praying for revival of the great one who defied gravity and all the laws of physics and of the Devs. But the Shrub, despite being cast to rest on the sand, wielded its power once more and averted the smiting of his followers. Your life or the lives of your ancestors were saved by the Shrub.

Thus twelve is thy number, for it is the number of feet that the great foliage hath risen. And green is thy color, for is it not the color of the noble Shrub?



Chapter 10: The Great Wars

The shrub will conquer all, "The sands will run red with blood, and the nonbelievers shall tremble at it's power. the force will fall to the power of that which was created from it, and the plants of power will once again take their place 12 feet above the sands of Tatooine. the Shrubbites will then construct a glorious army and conquer those which still cling to the pagan gods."



Chapter 11: The Book of Reinen

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the SHRUB when I lay my vengeance upon thee.



Chapter 12: Chapter of Praise

Before I found the Shrub, I was a lurking soul from a time before beta, drifting from thread to thread trying to find an intelligent post or original idea. Then, amidst the posts of Jedi, MCS/SCS, and complaints of people quitting, I did see the Shrub. It helped that the Shrub did rise above the lesser threads. I was drawn to the Shrub by a Force I had never previously experienced, and basked in the harmony and goodwill that emanated from the mere mention of the name of the Shrub. While I did follow the shrub, I witnessed many acts of its power, from its simple act of defying gravity, to the thread it did preserve, to the beings of all races and creeds that did come together under its common cause, forsaking their previous conflicts in order to glorify the Shrub. Now in return for all the Shrub has done for this unworthy poster, I lift my voice and call out for the Shrub's return!



Chapter 13: The Great Struggle

Such an act took not from the power of the Shrub, but doubled the efforts of it's followers to restore it to it's rightful place in the sky. The battles fought were not between the people and the Devs, who are powerful such that fighting them is useless. The battles were fought between the people of the Shrub and those who had less tolerance for those who wished to role play. It was said that the Shrub would not fit into that which all called SWG. It must not be forgotten that the Shrub was first after the Devs, and all that is was taken from the Shrub.



Chapter 14: The Story of Sand Raider

"The Shrub this is the most immature thing I've seen on this board in a while", spoke the Sand Raider. "AAAHHHHH!" Yelled the follower of the Shrub. "Tis' a heathen! Quickly my brethren, we must destroy this dissenter before he can spread his blasphemy!" The Sand Raider was caught and he was hung by his ankles from the titanium likeness of the Shrub that was floating in the village square and left to starve.

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 15: Teachings or Oreh Tsinagatorp

Chapter 15: Teachings of Oreh Tsinagatorp.

"But what if someone finds a floating tree? Is the Shrub just second rate to that tree?" 
"Relax Leafling. The Shrub is mighty because it was first and because of it's power. The Devs have not enough power to bestow as much even one more time. There will be many false prophets which will try to lead you astray from the Mighty Shrub. Some will try to have you follow grass, bushes, trees, Sheep, and even Shirt_576's. You may let them believe what they want, but do not be drawn in, for there are none more powerful than the Shrub.

"Master, is there really a Force Sensitive Sheep?" 
"Yes Leafling, there is a Force Sensitive Sheep. Keep in mind though that since he is Force Sensitive, he is also permadeath, and such is it that grieving against these sheep and their herders is bloody and all too often comes to a permanent end. So you see, the Force Sensitive Sheep is doomed to seek master status, forever starting over. It is not for us Shrubbites to even try to stop the Sheep, though we will not have to, as the Sheep face the same opposition that we do everyday in life. It is said in the Book of the Sheep (B.S.) that the Sheep will only once reach master status, and that such an event will trigger the great smiting of SWG from existence."

"Master, there are those that worship the Shirt_576. What is so great about a Shirt?" 
"Ah, good question Leafling. The coming of Shirt_576 was foretold by a Dev, so we have the scriptures sent down, and so we know it must be so. The Shirt_576 has not come yet and yet we do not know of it's power. Only when we meet the armies of Shirt_576 on the battlefield will we know of it's power. For you see, Leafling, that each god is given power by it's followers. If a god were to lose all of it's followers, it will lose all of it's power. That is why the power of the Shrub is so great and the power of the Force Sensative Sheep is so weak. It is also why the mountains around us, though great and massive in size, show only an occasional flicker of power."

"Master, why are the Force Sensitive Sheep so weak?"
"That answer lies in its followers. First, too many followers of the Sheep have neglected to spell out the full name that it deserves, smiting it with their own words when they say 'FSS'. Secondly, the Sheep is only Force Sensitive, and has not had a chance to rise to Master Jedi status. It will receive this chance only after the Great Opening and will have days uncounted to complete the task. As is stated in many quotes by the Devs, Jedi will be few and far between, and the chances of the Sheep becoming a Jedi are small indeed."

"Master, is it true what the Devs say, about the Force Sensitive Sheep eating the Shrub?" 
"It is true that these words come directly from the mouth of a Dev, but he was obviously lying. In the Books of the Shrub, it is described that the Shrub has the powerful 'Shrub Push' ability. It is with this power that it floated 12 feet from the ground, and it is with this power that it would repel the Sheep. The Devs are good, but cannot always be trusted, especially in matters of the Shrub. Besides, the Shrub is too thorny for even a Force Sensitive Sheep to eat. There will never be any such thing as a Force Sensitive Goat, and for that we are thankful.

"But who is the divine follower that discovered the shrub?"
"That, my young apprentice must be answered by those who read this book and send holy emails to the webmaster, who is himself the least of the gods that do hear our prayers."

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 16 - 21: Attributions

Chapter 16: The Shirts Demise

"All of Shirt_576's foes fall before the mightiness of the Shrub. Shirt_576's people are not forgotten. From above the Shrub shall smite the evil creatures and there shall be repenting in the land of Shirt."



Chapter 17: The Book of Refreshment

Yea, I did crawl through the burning deserts on an arid world. And though my breath wore short, and my lips became cracked, I could not vanquish the ghostly whispers that called me forth. For 12 days I traveled thus, forsaking all other refuge, till on the 13 day I found myself resting beneath a great shade. And upon my back did I lie, and looking upon high did behold a mighty Shrub. Unbound by the feeble chains of our world, the Shrub did float as if upon a cloud. And what wonder! I did see a single drop of dew perched upon the edge of a lustrous green leaf. And ye, did the Shrub release the drop, and let it fall upon my face, and I was refreshed. The Almighty Shrub must be protected from all who would forsake its holy memory. If by aligning with the Servants of the Shrub, I can assist in this mission, then so shall it be.



Chapter 18: The Shrub's Unity

If anyone else sees it, it would be "just an other bug" and for us who have been here on these forums from the beginning of the Shrub discussion, it will be a fun reminder of the people who have been here supporting it... It makes people come closer to each other, and if you meet any one who knows about the Shrub, there will be something that connects you...



Chapter 19: The Shrub's Mercy

Behold the mercy of our Shrub! Yes the powers of the Shrub are great! Even being cast down to the sands and being desecrated by the filthy earth will not slow the branch of the Shrub. The Shrub has given us this time to turn the Devs hearts and put back the Shrub to its rightful place, not for its sake. No for the powers of the Shrub are great and he cannot be held to the ground for long. The Shrub has allowed this thread to continue so that the Devs will have a chance to turn there hearts and put the Shrub back on high and bask in the mercy of the Shrub.



Chapter 20: The Shrub's Mystery

Still, once could say the Mystery of the Shrub is more vivid now, since it is no longer floating! When will it Float again? What will it have to say when it Floats again? Many Omens are waiting on this moment. Perhaps it will come to pass that the Shrub will again repel the land beneath it. The Shrub will float at the level of the ground for miles around, but for the 12 foot deep crater that lies beneath it.



Chapter 21: The Shrub's Wrath

The Shrub is mighty. Someday you may be in need of it's great healing powers, and the Shrubs memory is long indeed. But STILL, be wary of slander to the almighty Shrub. For when you crawl dying to it's roots seeking healing you WILL be left to whither and die.

 

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 22 - 25: The Prophecies

Chapter 22: Prophecy of Barsook

Beware the second coming of the Shrub, all you unclean worshipers of the shirt. For it is said that on that day the Shrub shall grow in righteous fury and pierce the hearts of the unclean with the glorious thorns of divine retribution! Repent your cloth wearing ways and follow the one true Shrub before your souls are damned forever into the compost pit of utter damnation! The righteous await your return!



Chapter 23: The Book of Seiryuu

Do you forget the words from the ether? "The shirt wearer shall pass before the burning bush in the desert, shedding its holy luminance upon the sacred shirt. Fear not! For the floating shrub shall rise from the collected ashes like a fiery phoenix, for the shirt wearer shall sample its divine DNA and its children shall spring forth into the world and form the new Garden of Paradise."



Chapter 24: Book of Moros

"Before there was SWG, there were the fans. Before the fans there were the mods; before the mods were the Devs, and before the Devs was George Lucas.

"In the beginning Lucas created Star Wars. Then he rested for twenty years. Then... he made some more Star Wars and decided that the MMO market was too big to ignore, so he decided to grab a piece. In those days Lucas created first the mighty Devs, clever and cunning in all ways of Game Development. The Devs called upon their master Lucas, and with his aid created the mighty Mods, beings of vast power who could destroy threads and ban accounts at will. Thus were born the SWG boards.

"The Mods, being reclusive, remained inside out of the sunlight, and thus began to grow cold and pale. Soon because of their reclusive nature the color of their skin began to change. First it faded to the palest white, and then it began to turn blue, as can be seen to this day.

"The Devs on the other hand were cruel masters of all other folk, releasing only the information that they wished, and tormenting the weak creatures called the fans with promises of a video. Many noobs met their deaths at the hands of the Devs in the early years, and thus did the Devs begin to be stained with blood.

"Soon the Mods began to realize their power, and they rose up and resisted the Devs, and the whole Boards stood in awe of the mighty conflict that ensued. Sometimes the conflict was heard as from far off, like thunder in the distance; at other times it raged through the very threads of our existence, tearing the world apart. In the end the Hand of Mod prevailed, and placated the Devs' thirst for blood. But as a warning to all they decreed that the Devs would forevermore be stained red with the innocent blood of thousands of noobs."

And that, you see, is why we have to keep on attacking the noobs that show up; the Devs keep running out of noob blood.



Chapter 25: Godly Power

The manifestation of all that is good and holy. Who's divine foliage gives life to all that lives, who has evolved past the material and into the divine, as shown by its ascension into space, forswearing the roots that bound it to the material. SHRUB is that from which all flows, and, some theologians theorize, the very source of The Force itself... It was from the SHRUB that the Force Sensitive Sheep did feed, imbuing the lowly farm animal with the Force, and allowing it to produce the wool from which Shirt_576 was made.


Lost Scriptures

And lo, he shall be known by the lightness of his being and the ascendancy of his form.  His approach shall be humble, but thunderous joy shall follow Him wherever he goes.  In his presence both elitists and noobs shall love each other.  Embraced by his glow, communities come together.  Tho scorn and derision are heaped upon you, take not your eyes from His divine prize.  No one knows the day, hour or color of his arrival.  The faithful will know.  The faithful will ascend.  Thanks be to the Shrub.

 

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 26 & 27: Gunslinger & Carmel-Jedi

Chapter 26: The Legend of Gunslinger74

Welcome Gunslinger74 you have kept the Shrubs thread well in my absence. Do not be afraid of the Dev's silence for they are silent because of the great fear that rises up in there bellies and that causes there legs to become like the small trees around the Shrub that quake in the glory of the Shrub.



Chapter 27: Book of Carmel-Jedi

I, the self proclaimed Prophet of the Shrub, have had another vision. In the previous vision I was show a vast plain where his statue was to be erected. In this vision I was shown his resurrection. And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right branch upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: I am he that lived, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of the Galaxies and of death. Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter.

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 28 - 30: Mandates

Chapter 28: Branches Mandate

1 - And 'lo the holy land was made known to the faithful. 
2 - The creator sent a messiah, and told him to build a temple near the very place. 
3 - And that one day, when enough had gathered near the life giving plant 
4 - IT WOULD RISE AGAIN AND SMITE THE UNFAITHFUL. 
5 - The enlightened would be spared so that they may 
6 - BASK IN THE BLOOD OF THE NON-BELIEVERS!!!



Chapter 29: Mandate of Ostium Vespre

It was said that there would be a great Temple built around the Shrub. The temple would be so great and massive that the uninitiated would mistakenly believe that the temple was the source of the power emanating about the region of the Shrub. When the temple is completed, there would be a city to rise around it. In the city there will live a thousand Player Characters and half as many NPC Merchants to support them. The followers of the Shrub will have a hell of a time teaching those in the city, yet they will be successful. In the final days before peace, holy wars will ravage the land. The non-believers will come from all over to mock the Shrubbites and the streets will be stained with the blood of the non-believers. Nary a hair on the head of any who is truly faithful to the Shrub will be harmed. This will be the ultimate test of a Shrubbites' faith and the holy wars will last for days uncounted.
This we shall do, regardless of whether He-who-shall-not-be-named forsakes the Dark Side and returns the Shrub to it's rightful airborne place. For we know the location of it's Holy Presence and shall worship and build a mighty city and temple to it's greatness there! And it will be good.



Chapter 30: Mandate of a Shrine

"I demand that at 12 foot rock be placed where the shrub was, and on top of the rock, the shrub be placed there. This way those who wish to destroy the shrub will most likely be unable to reach it, and those who wish to worship it may." "A rock? A ROCK? No! The Shrub must not be on a rock, for if the rock is 12 feet tall the Shrub will be 12 feet over the rock. It must levitate!" "I have a big ranged weapon with the Shrub's name on the clip." "You dare to defile the sacred Shrub!!!!!" The man who threatened to defile the Shrub was spared the usual punishment and in the stead of it was choked to death with the descendants of the great Shrub. The brotherhood for the protection of the Shrub stands not idly by for such blasphemy to take place.

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 31 - 33: Tribulations

Chapter 31: The Great Warning

In its second coming, the Shrub will save its followers from the coming doom, and they shall ascend twelve feet high to be closer to its beauty and splendor. And the Shrubless heretics shall be smote by its awesome power and will be left to rot on the dying world it will leave in its wake. Infidels such as yourself will not survive the second coming of the Shrub.



Chapter 32: The Anger of the Devs

In the worship of the Shrub, the Devs were, if not utterly forgotten, were turned away from to worship the Shrub. In their godly jealous rages that ensued, the Shrub was lowered once more to the ground.



Chapter 33: The Desperate Search

The faithful went unto the barren deserts to find him, for they would know him by the foliage of his form and the lightness of his being. For many days and nights they searched the sands of Tatooine until they came upon a great vision! For there before them was the most Sacred and Holy Floating Shrub. And they fell to their knees and rent their clothing, chanting "Long Live the Shrub"! And they were much amazed. ...

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapters 34 - 37: Faith

Chapter 34: Seedlings

And you shall teach the unbelievers, for they know not the path of righteousness. The mightiest oak began as the smallest seed, so shall it be with faith. Nurture and educate those that do not know, so that they might grow unto their faith. Remember: once you did not know of His power, and were not but a weed. But his power awakened you to him, and now you rejoice in his power.



Chapter 35: The Lone Survivor's Story

I was lost... In a land filled with deceit and lies. All around me there was chaos and a general decent from order. I could not see, could not find my way through this vortex of spinning lies and deception. Truly, I was in despair, fearing that I was loosing my very grip on sanity. I was on the brink of breaking down and giving into the abyss... but then... something happened... I saw... It. There, on the horizon, It floated in true and untainted glory. It's pureness brought me to my knees and I wept. For there, was reason, stability, and a higher calling, all in the form of this strange floating object. I crawled through the burning sands as they pelted my face. But I took this in stride, embracing it as a cleansing as I came closer to It. I finally came to the base of my savior, the Floating Shrub and I did cry out with great joy, for there before me was what I sought. Near it, I then did feel complete. Raising to one knee, I looked up to It and did swear my undying fealty and allegiance, giving to It my mind and body. I then stood and did thrust my fist high into the air proclaiming to the universe "Long live the Shrub! Only It may save us! May I die before harm comes to It!".



Chapter 36: Unstoppable Roots

For the roots grew deep into the sands of Tatooine, for water was scarce. But nothing could stop the power of the holy shrub, neither heat, nor sand, nor temperature, nor evil developer could stem the tide of power. Obey the Shrub-it's power is great and it's wrath is mighty.



Chapter 37: The Second Coming

From the highlands, from the valleys, from the deepest stretches of space we will gather. When all the forces and twin suns align, dissidents will fall to their knees, begging for forgiveness and mercy. The true light will shine through and balance will finally prevail."

 

Book of The Shrub - Chapter 38: The Book of Discord

Chapter 38: The Book of Discord

I write this Book near the end of the "era of Discord"

As was written in "The Book of The Gods" Chapter 2, The Devs are a God above our Shrub. They smited the shrub and struck it from the land. Yet we strived. We survived. The Shrub still had not returned. There were many comings and goings in the shrub order, new members being inducted, old ones leaving, old ones returning and bringing with them followers from far off lands outside of the SWG. The shrub even had followers from different dimensions that had never set foot in the dimension of SWG existing only on the plane of RL.

This was a time of peace and prosperity for the Shrubbites and their brethren. However, every time of prosperity must come to and end. So it did. Shrubbites became bitter with one another. The Shrub order lost members due to arguments amongst themselves and they forgot the shrub that they had once stood together to worship. They continued to fight after losing a few, and the squabbles turned to the flinging of mud from one side to another. Lines were drawn.... Lines were crossed...

More Shrubbites left the order. This was an era of Discord for the shrub. A time of sadness for all of the order. A time when the shrub itself looked away from the Shrubbites, ashamed of what had become of its followers...

This is where I start my story. A story of Shrubs-Past...
During the era of Migration, when the Shrubtopia of Ostium Vepres was moved from the mesa to the Sandy Dunes of the desert, many changes were made in the shrub order. Dredge Hip'levo and upstanding shrub was chosen to be mayor of the fine city and to be the instrument of the shrub in bringing a new city out of the sands. Dredge worked feverishly to accomplish the goals laid out before him by the shrub council and the good folk of the new city and he did well.

But unrest comes to us all. And Dredge's hard work was slandered by many. It was the start of a downfall. Dredge was a hardy player though, and he took it in stride. He worked harder to make the great city that which everyone had hoped for. For a time all was well.

The city prospered for a time, and new shrubs flocked to the order and worshiped the shrub freely. Shrub Business-men and women opened up shops and sold their wares and trinkets to the players of SWG. Business was good, and the Shrubbites joined together and worked together through most of it. In any business though, unrest can come, and it did. One business of GalaxyCorp and a businessman and woman of TIMMY and Kimberly-Jane did exchange in arguments and the shrub was not pleased. TIMMY and Kimberly-Jane left the path of the one true shrub and left the dimension of SWG behind and went to the RL. This saddened the shrub deeply. The shrub did not like to see it's people argue, or to leave one another when they should be embracing. The council was at a loss, and was saddened by its people, and could do nothing. Still time went on...

More arguments still continued to arise among the shrub people. SturmTC an Architect and Businessman brought many matters that he wanted dealt with before the council of the shrub. He was unhappy with the way things were. And lines were drawn.... and lines were crossed... SturmTC left the path of the shrub feeling disheartened with the ways of the council, and the council feeling disconcerted with his actions and words. So SturmTC walked elsewhere in SWG away from the shrub that floated....

With all endings must come a new beginning. It's the shrub people who have to decide the ending, and it's the Floating Shrub itself that decides our beginning as always. But shall the shrub order, the people of the shrub, embrace what the shrub stood for and leave their wicked squabbling ways? Time will tell as always, and time is what all shrubs have, what we've all be granted while we wait for the return of the floating shrub. I for one believe that this is the end of the "Era of Discord", I believe that the Shrubbites from all around shall realize the futility of their bickering and shall once again embrace one another as brothers and sisters in the path of the one true shrub.....

The shrub once floated... with our help, it will come to us floating once again!